We're here, we're queer, we're weddings!
Since I’ve started this business I’ve encountered the phrase “same-sex weddings” a lot in response to my introducing my business as “queer-focused wedding planning.” I would like to formally separate myself from the phrase “same-sex weddings.” Here’s why.
THEY’RE JUST FUCKING WEDDINGS. Anyone getting married is a wedding. It’s a celebration of love and the couple committing to love and support each other for the rest of their lives. As much as I like to make everything about being gay, I prefer that I’m the one doing it and not letting the straights have the satisfaction of labelling my community’s love parties.
That being said, weddings are rooted deeply in gendered language and traditions that are irrelevant to certain couples that aren’t just two cis-het folks. I’ve got a lot of great ideas of how to celebrate outside of these norms. I also think there are a lot of great ways to take the traditional and find your own meaning in it and share that with your guests. Queer folks just need to celebrate their love but there are going to be some big differences in how that’s handled and I’m here to make the handling of that pleasant af.
A lot of different types of love that aren’t cis-het also aren’t same-sex. A cis-gender bisexual man marrying a heterosexual woman is still queer because the man is bi. A trans woman marrying a trans man still has participants under the LGBTQIA umbrella. These are just two examples of queer-love that aren’t same-sex. I could certainly give you a few more but I think you get my point.
Same-sex marriage legalization is all fine and dandy and absolutely something to celebrate. We deserve all the same rights as our hetero siblings, but there are still a lot of folks in our community who are NOT afforded equal rights under the law regarding basic needs such as housing and job security. Not a good look. The fight for equal rights isn’t over and we need to keep fighting especially for our trans siblings. Let’s keep the word queer in people’s minds and remind them cis folks aren’t the only folks in our community.
While same-sex weddings are great, I want to think and work way outside of the traditional wedding box and make my own genre of queer weddings. I want to work with queer couples to throw a wedding. Not a same-sex wedding. Just a wedding. If your wedding (the party itself, not just the love celebrated) happens to be hella gay that’s even better though, honestly. My goal is to throw weddings without the cringe worthy questions that we can get asked when people don't understand the nuances of gender and pronouns and all of the other things. Let’s get ‘em.